What am I doing?! This is a question I've been asking myself ever since I came up with the idea to drive cross country by myself and to spend time volunteering on an organic farm in Hawaii. It's been hitting me more and more as my departure date is getting closer. Today marks my eight week mark. Eight weeks from today I'll be starting what will be one hell of an adventure. I'm going to be driving cross country by myself with my 2003 Toyota Corolla, hoping that me and my car don't end up in a ditch in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone reception. I've been having some pangs of fear mixed with thoughts of, what the fuck am I doing?! I'm leaving my job, my source of income, my apartment, my life for the past two and a half years. Leaving what has been my normal to travel solo (for most of my trip) for a solid 3+ months and supporting myself with the money that I've been saving. Am I fucking nuts? Maybe I am a little. But this has been something I've wanted to do for a while and I've thought about it over and over and over again and I know if I don't do it, I'm going to live in regret. I don't know when I will have this opportunity again, to leave my job and home and just hold on tight to my wanderlust and see where I end up.
Even though I've had some freak out moments, I can't properly put into words how excited I am for this epic adventure. Seeing months of thinking, planning, researching, decision making, starting to form a true honest map is pretty damn amazing. I'm also slightly scared but I think it's important to do things that scare us because it shows us that many times, we have nothing to be afraid of, that the fear we are harboring are just thoughts that we've given too much power. So I'm trying to quiet those scary thoughts and remind myself why I'm doing this. I'm doing this trip for me, myself and I. I'm doing this to accomplish a travel dream, to experience our beautiful country and to remind myself that even though I love being with my family and friends, I'm also good on my own. That I am enough.
The next eight weeks will be busy and sad and wonderful and filled with lots of change, laughter, goodbyes and excitement. But I'm getting ready, day by day by day. Eight weeks. The countdown is on!
